Nothing Stays; Nothing Changes

Details:
for Chamber Orchestra: 1.1.1.0 – 1.1.1.0 – perc. (2) – harp – piano – strings
10 minutes

Premiered by the Illinois Modern Ensemble conducted by Patrick Murray, November 3, 2017, Krannert Center for the Performing Arts.

About the work:
Classical music is maybe not known for subtlety. The idea of repressed emotions almost seems contradictory to the medium itself, but it’s a vein of expression I find myself coming to time and time again. So much of life and navigating it is understated in some way. There is a quiet solitude we all experience regardless of our surroundings. Melancholy isn’t quite the right word because this is less dramatic than that. Nothing Stays; Nothing Changes is a statement that attempts to describe these feelings. The two parts of the title are independent of one another but also work in tandem as part of a cycle. It’s like leaves on a tree, growing and falling and growing again. But this too exists in a continuous cycle. Nothing stays. Nothing changes. This cycle exists in nature, or the creative process, or even just day-to-day living. Much of this piece is quiet. It uses small musical moments sparsely; echoed from instrument to instrument until the idea disappears. Nothing stays. Yet, this work never quite reaches as dramatic of a climax as it could. So much of what drives the music is subdued emotions. Small moments attempt to push the material forward—whether it be gliding strings, anxious rhythms, or half-complete melodies—but none of them succeed in diverting the piece from its ultimate conclusion, an arrival of a place we’ve been to before. Nothing changes. There is frustration within the notes, an eagerness to break out of the cycle, but the overarching atmosphere is a quiet understanding. It’s not despair, just understanding.